rarestcandy | SECOND LAP. [rocket frequency audio; video from lake of rage.]

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SECOND LAP. [rocket frequency audio; video from lake of rage.]

[AUDIO; LOCKED TO ROCKETS]

So... How come we never do anything fun? I mean, I guess some of you guys think explosions are fun or whatever -- and they can be! -- but shouldn't there be like, I dunno, a company picnic, or a morale-boosting festival? Let's face it, guys, as a team we don't have the greatest track record of successes.

[NOT THAT SHE...MINDS THAT...]

Even some of you old, boring guys gotta enjoy something fun! Throw us younger members a bone, here.

[VIDEO; OPEN TO PUBLIC]

Alright guys, I've got a question. And I need you to think really hard on it! This is important.

[She stares into the camera for several seconds, brows furrowed to show the seriousness of the situation.]

...You can only eat one thing for the rest of your life. Go.

[...Yeah, she might be going a little bit stir-crazy in her tent, today.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Pizza.

There's so many different kinds of pizza, you'd pretty much never be bored.

There's even dessert pizza.

Really, it's sort of a no-brainer if you ask me.

Pizza's pretty good, yeah.

[She was still kind of boycotting it, after Ralph being fired was a Thing.]

But say some crazed pizza-maker tells you that you can only choose one kind of pizza. What then? Or, like, what if you get pizza but it's always got all these gross vegetables and stinky fish on them? And you can't pick them off.

_{[In all fairness, when somebody destroys part of the building, you kind of have to fire them on principal.]

[Heather grins.]}

Well hey, speak for yourself. I'm one of those weirdos who actually kinda likes vegetables.

And I'm from New England-- I'd probably get disowned if I didn't like fish.

But if I had to choose one kind...

I guess I'd have to pick something with a little of everything. Gotta cover all the food groups, y'know. Wouldn't wanna die of scurvy.

[Having the Lord of Butts on her roster isn't going to save Heather from the exaggerated look of disgust Vanellope sends her way.]

Yuck, remind me to never go to New England. [There's a short pause, in which she apparently thinks of something.] Unless Swedish Fish count.

[Back to business matters, though.]

You've got a crazed pizza-maker on your hands and you're busy worrying about scurvy? Who's ever even heard of scurvy?!

Aw, it's not so bad. There's tons of ice cream, for one thing. Kinda balances out. _{[MAINE AND ITS SURROUNDING STATES LOVE THEIR ICE CREAM OKAY.]}

But you gotta think in the long term, you know. Scurvy is serious business.

_{[She actually knows literally nothing about scurvy.]}

I mean, if it came right down to it, I'd rather go down fighting with a crazed pizza maker than slowly waste away from disease. It's a big thing to consider.

Edited 2014-07-03 01:40 (UTC)

Okay -- Okay, I get that. [Even if she hasn't been sick a day in her digital life...] But say it's magical food that covers all your "nutritional" needs for you.

[YES, AIR QUOTES WERE EMPLOYED THERE.]

You still goin' with everything pizza?

Hm.

_{[She makes a show of stroking her chin thoughtfully.]}

... Yeah, sure, why not. Pizza's pizza.

Edited 2014-07-03 17:25 (UTC)

Pizza's not pizza, though! A cheese pizza and a pizza with fish and peppers and olives are goin' to taste totally different. Or, like, if someone had a pizza and they put bees on it. Blech.

Tell me more about this dessert pizza you mentioned.

Okay, I'd draw the line at bee pizza.

But yeah, dessert pizzas are a thing. _{[A delicious thing.]}

First, you got your basic pie crust. Then instead of tomato sauce and cheese, there's, say... chocolate pudding and oreos. Baked like a pizza.

I'd be concerned if you didn't.

[Her eyes go pretty wide, at that.]

I need that in my belly immediately.

Right?

Come to think of it, I don't know any pizza places here that have 'em, but I've seen like... the occasional one in the frozen food aisle of the Pokemarts. Like you bring it home and bake it yourself.

Or in the hotel's kitchen area if you don't have a decent oven in the room.

What? That should be a crime.

[At that she gives a blustery sigh.]

I guess it's not far, but usually me n' Ralph are out on the routes instead. I could always go buy one and see if Diet Cola will cook it for me...

[He did like pizza...]

Man, I didn't think of that. It's been so long since I've lived primarily on the road I forget that a lot of people still spend most of their time traveling.

Well, maybe it's somethin' you can look forward to the next time you stop in a town.

Yeah, we're not much for the city. Being by the woods makes him happy, so I like headin' out there too.

...Hey, so I know that Mahogany has the ice gym an' all, but do you think they'd be cool with selling a dessert pizza to a bat, if she had the money for it? I could add a nice note, if you think that'd help.

_{[She rubs her chin.]}

... Hm. Can't see why they wouldn't. I mean, people sending their Pokemon for deliveries and pickups happens pretty regularly.

Awesome! Gotta send Boogie out for a chocolate delivery anyway, so maybe I'll have her pick one up on the way back!

And if it doesn't work, you can just owe me one sometime, since my hopes are super up right now. But we can share!

[That's fair, right?]

... Heh. You know what, sure.

Next time there's a prom or we run into each other somewhere else, I'll buy us a dessert pizza.

_{[... Or heck, try to make one. ... It ... couldn't be too hard, could it?]}

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SECOND LAP. [rocket frequency audio; video from lake of rage.]

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