rarestcandy | SECOND LAP. [rocket frequency audio; video from lake of rage.]

Current Location: Lake of Rage.

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SECOND LAP. [rocket frequency audio; video from lake of rage.]

[AUDIO; LOCKED TO ROCKETS]

So... How come we never do anything fun? I mean, I guess some of you guys think explosions are fun or whatever -- and they can be! -- but shouldn't there be like, I dunno, a company picnic, or a morale-boosting festival? Let's face it, guys, as a team we don't have the greatest track record of successes.

[NOT THAT SHE...MINDS THAT...]

Even some of you old, boring guys gotta enjoy something fun! Throw us younger members a bone, here.

[VIDEO; OPEN TO PUBLIC]

Alright guys, I've got a question. And I need you to think really hard on it! This is important.

[She stares into the camera for several seconds, brows furrowed to show the seriousness of the situation.]

...You can only eat one thing for the rest of your life. Go.

[...Yeah, she might be going a little bit stir-crazy in her tent, today.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well you gotta choose something interesting, at least, because too many people are choosing stew.

So what, that means I can't choose it? Y'didn't say everyone had to choose a different thing, kid.

Ugh, fine, you can choose boring ol' stew, too, if you really want to. I guess that wasn't part of the rules.

What's so great about stew, though? I don't get it.

What, you mean it isn't obvious?

[Sheesh. Yusuke rolls his eyes a little and begins to explain.]

Okay, look, the thing about stew is that it's usually made with a bunch of different ingredients, which means you aren't gonna miss out on much of anything if you're stuck eating it for the rest of your life. Like with sukiyaki, you get beef, tofu, vegetables, at least a couple kinds of noodles... y'know, a variety of stuff. So it's not actually as boring as you think it is. Plus it's fuckin' delicious.

[She doesn't look all that impressed at that -- still just not the right flavors for this girl.]

Except all that stuff is boring to me.

Have you ever even tried any of it?

[Hey, it's a fair question, in his humble opinion. He certainly doesn't remember having a particularly adventurous palate when he was her age.]

I've had some of it! [vanellope don't look so offended, that's only true because ralph makes you] And you know what's better than that?

I've smelled that stuff. That for sure can tell you if something is boring or not.

Yeah, well, whatever you ate or smelled or whatever obviously wasn't worth a damn, because there's no freakin' way you don't like any of that stuff. Nobody can be that picky.

[She shrugs.]

I mean, it's not like I won't eat it, I just prefer other stuff. My refined palate likes licorice, an' ice cream, an' things like grilled cheese. If I know I like those things better, why not try'n eat them as much as possible?

[Yusuke spreads his hands.]

Hey, if junk's all you wanna eat, knock yourself out. Me, I like a little more variety in my diet. I'm as much of a fan as ice cream as the next guy, but I'd get sick of it real quick if I was shovelin' it down my face all the time.

Maybe, but you'd also get tired of stew, if that was the only thing you could eat! So why not choose dessert for your eternity meal?

'Cause then I'd just be stuck eating that one dessert for forever, duh! Didn't I already say stew has a bunch of different ingredients in it? If I didn't feel like eating one part of it, I could just eat the parts I did feel like eating and throw out whatever's left. I mean, it'd be kind of a waste, but...

[He shrugs.]

What if they made you eat all of it?

Every. Single. Last. Bit. No picking and choosing!

Then I'd punch 'em in the face and tell 'em to mind their own business.

[PROBLEM SOLVED.]

[...You know what?]

Works for me! I think we can all agree to appreciate a nice facepunch every once in a while, huh?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

SECOND LAP. [rocket frequency audio; video from lake of rage.]

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